I have been having overwhelming responses to why I am not hanging out with Natasha anymore.
Really, I am tired.
No, it isn't a sequel to The Hills, whatsoever anon.
This is for real.
I am tired. Really.

Oh, perhaps you would not remember this. But I remembered clearly when you and cassandra did not hang out for quite a while? You admitted to me that you did ever backstabbed me before. With a reason like " oh, you can't expect me to say that you're OH SO GOOD when cassandra's backstabbing you right?" I took quite a time to accept it though and no, I haven't really backstabbed you before other than the times when I do complain a little when you brushed me off aside.

I really want to try to understand why things would turn out like that, but I guess I will never understand you -- my friend. Though we have been friends for years, 12 years to be exact. I can't seem to understand you at all. Maybe I am not good enough to be your friend.

But for one thing I am clear and sure about. I am not doing this because you're in ITE or whatsoever. It doesn't matter to me. Seriously, If it matters to me, I would not have encouraged you to study for your O levels. I would not have listened to the problems you have in school like your class representative being such an ass and blaa..

I dislike it for it. I know I have indeed said something really bad in the past like I hate ITE students, really, I don't now. I think it has been really childish of me doing that. But yes, I still do hate it for what it has done. But no, I don't hate ITE students anymore. If you think you're comparable to it, let me tell you this -- It got into ITE with an N level Cert. If you think that you're worth comparing with it, carry on. But it is way lower than any one of us can go. In my eyes, you're someone who can really shine if you want to unlike it, a useless piece of crap. Who on Earth would then compare a piece of crap to someone who can outshine him? Gees. It would be ridiculous, isn't it?

I know you have been trying really hard to accept me for what I am too. I know it is tiring. So, yea, you can stop now. Really. I ain't a charity object for you to put your kindness and charitable acts on. I don't want to go on feeling really inferior to who you are.

Honestly, if you ever wondered why I am always boasting about what I am good at, it is always because I feel really inferior to you. This is really deep down from me. I am not avoiding you for what has happened on National Day or whatsover. Maybe yes, I am a little mad about what happened but I have given a really good thought about this.
I really don't want this friendship to carry on, it just makes me feel really tired, always trying to find something that I can be good at and you're not.

Maybe I am just not the right friend for you, just carry on with your life. Really.
I just really hope that people would stop comparing me to you.
I just wanna live my life for who I am. Not someone who's known as Natasha's shadow.

I know, you can think that these are bullshit. Go ahead, I can't stop what you're thinking about.
But this has been really what I wanted to say for a really long time ever since like after O levels.
I just do not know how to put it across to you. Now, I have finally plucked up some courage to tell this to you, and anon, yes. We are indeed better off without each other. (: